Cookies

No, it is not a post about cookies recipe πŸ˜› Just an interesting story by Douglas Adams that San sent me yesterday πŸ™‚ Enjoy :yes:

Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")

This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I'd gotten the time of the train wrong.

I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.

I want you to picture the scene. It's very important that you get this very clear in your mind.

Here's the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There's a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.

It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.

Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.

You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know. . . But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn't do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?

In the end I thought, nothing for it, I'll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.

Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice . . ." I mean, it doesn't really work.

We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.

Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.

The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.

(Excerpted from "The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time" by Douglas Adams)

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32 Responses to Cookies

  1. L2D2 says:

    That's a great story, Dare. I'm sitting here rofl. See, as a Texan American, I'd have spoken up as soon as he took that first cookie and said, "Hey, mister, what the heck do you think you're doing!? If you want one of my cookies, have the decency to ask—don't just reach over here and grab!" At which time, he would have drawn my attention to the fact that those were HIS cookies that I was grabbing. Apologies, my cookies halved with him, then away, each to our own lives. But the story wouldn't have been as funny.

  2. thetomster says:

    πŸ˜† … haven't read this part of the Hitchhiker's yet … but I will … excellent story :up:

  3. There2ia says:

    The cookies are look like "Good Time cookies" in Indonesia…Excuse me, may I have some cookies of yours? That is the way we tell the children when they want something from us…

  4. gdare says:

    Linda, I would probably react too, trying to make joke in situation like that. But, as you said, there will be no funny story :DDirk, I haven't read that one too. We will see… :)Teresia, I think kids should know how to react in situations like that, without hard feelings πŸ˜€

  5. raniakasim says:

    nice , if i were u , i would give him the whole packet ,me be he is hungry :worried:

  6. ellinidata says:

    rofl I expected a whole different entry!thank you and San for sharing! :up:

  7. Stardancer says:

    :lol:Priceless.:up:

  8. gdare says:

    Rania, that happened to Douglas Adams but I don't think any of them were hungry :DAngeliki, you are welcome :DStar πŸ˜€

  9. Suntana says:

    Hilarious! I first had to backtrack a couple of times to get straight from whose point of view the story was being told. At first I thought it was YOU in the story, Darko. Then I thought, "No, it's someone else telling the story, but the same thing happened to Darko." I finally got it straight. :doh:The story reminded me of similar scenarios I've seen on probably about 2 of those Hidden Camera TV Shows. I think one of the Shows was on the USA ABC TV Network. I think it was the one titled: What Would You Do? Or something like that. Then there was another Show on Cable. I forget the title, but the premise of the Show was this. There'd be a hidden camera. An Actor in on the prank, would zero in on some random person out in public. They'd then start doing some outrageous thing or start pestering the unsuspecting person in some way.Before the prank would start, the people from the Show would pick a random amount of time in which they figured the unsuspecting person would lose their Cool and lash out at the prankster. IF the unsuspecting person could keep their Cool beyond that time that had been picked … the people from the Show would clue them in on what was going on and give them $100 for having kept their Cool.So yeah, there was one episode whereby a person was sitting at a fast food joint eating their meal. Suddenly a stranger comes over, sits down … and starts eating the unsuspecting person's Fries. :eyes: :yikes: I can't remember the outcome of the prank. Or they might have done it a couple of times and some people lost their Cool, while others did NOT from NOT knowing what to do with such an outrageous situation.

  10. Suntana says:

    I just remembered a somewhat similar situation where I SHOULD have said something, but didn't.I was at the Exercise Room at an Apartment Complex. Since there was no place for one to put ones stuff, I'd bring a couple of paper towels so as to place my water bottle and keys on top of them on the floor. I didn't want my water bottle and keys touching that germ factory of a carpet. I had them next to the treadmill. I went into the other room to do some other stuff.When I came back, there the shock of shocks was waiting for me. There was this dude there all nice and comfy … wiping away the sweat on his face … with MY Paper Towels! That was of course only half my nightmare. The other half was that if that dude was wiping his sweat with my paper towels, that meant my water bottle and keys were … were … were TOUCHING the dreaded germ factory carpet! :insane: :no: :no: :no: :ko: :faint: I went to get my water bottle and keys. It was then that the dude, all red-faced goes, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know these were your paper towels." How the Fugg could he NOT know? There were 2 people in that Exercise Room, him and me. If he saw some paper towels with a water bottle and some keys on top, should it NOT be logical that they were mine? Besides, what flippin' difference did it make whether they might have been some mystery 3rd person's who stepped out for a couple of minutes? The bottom line is that they belonged to someone … and NOT to him. :mad:Yet, when he apologized, I stupidly went, "That's OK. No problem." WTF? It WASN'T OK? WHY did I say that? I wish I could turn back time and go all :norris: on that disrespectful worm! Maybe a Roundhouse Kick followed by stuffing the sweaty paper towels into his mouth might have been a start. … That would have learned him to go on a Paper Towel-napping spree.

  11. Stardancer says:

    San, that poor lil' kitty looks so pitiful, begging for forgiveness and understanding.:awww::lol:

  12. Stardancer says:

    πŸ˜†

  13. sanshan says:

    Maybe she ate the stranger's cookie.

  14. SittingFox says:

    πŸ˜† That's very funny. And so true. As a British person I simply wouldn't know how to respond to such a thing! :right:

  15. gdare says:

    Carlos, no one messes with my food :chef:*thinks about San*Well, almost no one :DIf you could just see some places where I was practicing Aikido or Iaido and Battodo. At least you had paper towels there :lol:San, it is ok, I will find more cookies:whistle:Adele,Originally posted by SittingFox:

    As a British person I simply wouldn't know how to respond to such a thing!

    Errr… slapping on his hand? :left:

  16. raniakasim says:

    Originally posted by gdare:

    Rania, that happened to Douglas Adams but I don't think any of them were hungry

    really ,strange people :yikes:

  17. KayFour says:

    Great post… and great comments. πŸ™‚ I especially love the kitten. Oh, did I forget to say it was a great post?

  18. gdare says:

    Rania :DKay Four, thanks πŸ™‚

  19. thaodp says:

    Cookies? where? :chef: :chef: really like this story. Thank you, Darko and San :up:

  20. gdare says:

    Cookies? Here!!! :DYou are welcome, Mit :yes:

  21. Furie says:

    Ha, I've not read that in a while. Awesome story, and as English as they come.

  22. MirabelaTM says:

    Great, funny story :up:

  23. gdare says:

    Mik, as an English guy, I guess you would act the same? :DMira, someone from Serbia would complain or move a bag with cookies immediately, right? πŸ˜€

  24. Furie says:

    I'm not strictly English. For example, I talk to my neighbours before having nodded at them for ten years.

  25. MirabelaTM says:

    Right πŸ˜€

  26. Dacotah says:

    I read this in an email. Guess people liked it so much from reading it in the book they are sending it through email. πŸ™‚

  27. gdare says:

    Probably πŸ˜€

  28. Dacotah says:

    πŸ˜€

  29. qlue says:

    :lol:.And :rip:. For Douglas Adams. :awww:.

  30. gdare says:

    Yup. He was unique :awww:

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