Dog`s and cat`s diary

I have found this funny website about dog`s and cat`s diaries. Have fun :jester:

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

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99 Responses to Dog`s and cat`s diary

  1. L2D2 says:

    I love it. I loved the lolcat top 100 video email too. Cats are such great subjects for things like this. Thanks for sharing it Dare. Oddly enough, I have never received this one. I might just copy and paste it into an email and send to all my animal loving friends!

  2. fammcdon says:

    Check out Zaph's latest post, Joe!

  3. fammcdon says:

    ๐Ÿ˜Ž Nice, Joe! ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. SittingFox says:

    ๐Ÿ˜† Excellent!

  5. Spaggyj says:

    I have read this before, it's still funny ๐Ÿ˜† love the picture too ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. gdare says:

    Kimmie, I have got it before by e-mail but still thought it would be funny to post here. It just shows the difference, right? :DBud :cheers:What`s that all about a "Joe"???

  7. Furie says:

    There's a reason my people have been at war with the cats for centuries. They're pure evil…

  8. ellinidata says:

    bookemarked!;lol:very funny! thanks for sharing! :up: :yes: ;love:

  9. Spaggyj says:

    Yeah Dark it's spot-on, I think ๐Ÿ˜†

  10. gdare says:

    Carol, you are welcome :DStar ๐Ÿ˜› :DDirk :devil: One day, that little yellow spy….. :devil:

  11. gdare says:

    Linda, this is probably because I got it by mail only in Serbian; this is first time I have found original text (Serbian one was probably a translation) :)Adele :DMik, eternal war between light and darkness, right? :knight:Angeliki, you are welcome :DKimmie :DStar, that would be dogs, right? ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜†

  12. Dacotah says:

    Hi Darko, thank you for the laughs. ๐Ÿ˜€

  13. Furie says:

    One shall stand, one shall fall. :knight:

  14. Stardancer says:

    :p Darko.:lol:

  15. gdare says:

    Carol ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜€

  16. Stardancer says:

    You can really tell which one is the evil one, can't you?:lol:

  17. Dacotah says:


  18. thetomster says:

    ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

    … really a nice one :yes:

  19. gdare says:

    Mik, this is Shakespeare? ๐Ÿ˜€

  20. Dacotah says:


  21. L2D2 says:

    Originally posted by Furie:

    One shall stand, one shall fall.

    That will always be the cats. It's a rule.

  22. risis1977 says:

    Excellent post :yes::lol:I thought we need such this :lol::lol:

  23. KYren says:

    I love cats. ๐Ÿ˜†

  24. sanshan says:

    It's all explained very well here .

  25. gdare says:

    Linda, I knew this may start a war here ๐Ÿ˜† :lol:San, I always thought cats are sent here from another Galaxy to rule us; if this is a video call for help, then more cats are going to come, right? :insane: :PNatalya, a good laugh is a good laugh – and always welcome :DKiran, I had no doubt about that ๐Ÿ˜†

  26. gdare says:

    ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† Thanks for the link, this is great :yes:

  27. studio41 says:

    ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† this was hilarious!

  28. gdare says:

    Jill :DKiran, the way you laughed up there ๐Ÿ˜€

  29. KYren says:

    :sherlock: Really? Why so?

  30. KYren says:

    I really love cats, man. A dog bit my mom recently. She had to take injections for a month.

  31. Furie says:

    Darko, it is a classic but it's not Shakespeare. I'll be putting up the latest source today. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  32. gdare says:

    Kiran :yes:Mik, ok, I`ll check on it ๐Ÿ˜€

  33. sanshan says:

    I was bit by a cat once. Got blood poisoning. Had my arm in a sling for 2 weeks. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I wuv pusshykats! ๐Ÿ˜ฅ :cat:

  34. gdare says:

    But it seems that cat didn`t particularly liked you :awww:

  35. edwardpiercy says:

    LMAO. And very true as well. I once read something to the effect that "Barney the dog just had his 2,335th Best Day in a row." ๐Ÿ˜†

  36. sanshan says:

    No wonder there are so many divorces. :whistle:

  37. gdare says:


  38. gdare says:

    Dogs always seem to be happy with their lives :DI`ve read about simple test that can be performed. Put a dog and a wife in a car trunk. When you open it after a couple of hours, who will be really happy to see you?:P

  39. cheeseybite says:

    Attitude! Now that's what I like about cats. And dogs are cute because they are so plain dumb and adorable. They really should be married. You know balance in the universe and that mumbo jumbo? It might just work. Dogs I think make excellent hen pecked husbands! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

  40. edwardpiercy says:

    My dog Sasha isn't dumb. She's like a little Marie Curie. It's kinda scary actually. ๐Ÿ™‚

  41. edwardpiercy says:

    LMAO.Probably calling out for pepperoni pizza. :p

  42. gdare says:

    Cheesey, I was suspecting but now I have a proof: you are woman!!! :PEd, yes it is scary. Especially if she is experimenting with radio-activity :insane::D

  43. BabyJay99 says:

    ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† :DMy 4 cat's diary :-0000 – 0600hrs : sleep0601 – 0605hrs : breakfast0606 – 1300hrs : sleep1301 – 1303hrs : lunch1304 – 1800hrs : sleep1801 – 1805hrs : dinner1806 – 2359hrs : sleepand on and on and on and on..:cat: ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜€

  44. gdare says:

    ๐Ÿ˜† :lol:They live very active life… between sleeping ๐Ÿ˜€

  45. BabyJay99 says:

    ๐Ÿ˜† Yes `very active` that`s y they hv 9 lives ๐Ÿ˜†

  46. PainterWoman says:

    ๐Ÿ˜€ So cute and so true Darko. Dogs seem happy for any and every thing…..except for going to the vet.

  47. L2D2 says:

    Originally posted by PainterWoman:

    Dogs seem happy for any and every thing…

    That's why I prefer cats who tell you to go take a leap when they get tired of you. Could that be why I am not a married woman? ๐Ÿ˜†

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