Compassion

Three days ago, 20 years old M.S. armed with a gun went to Gazela, one of our bridges over Sava river, jumped on the outer part of the fence, threatening he will commit suicide. Police officers tried to come closer to him but he pointed a gun so all they could do was to hide behind the cars and call for help. At the same time, traffic was stopped in both directions. That means that main highway that connects western Europe with Greece and Turkey was blocked. In a matter of minutes lane of vehicles was over 10kms long and traffic in main streets in Belgrade became a mess. Police negotiating team needed more than hour to persuade poor boy not to jump to a river.

But that was not the worse part. In a city like Belgrade there are probably a few suicides or attempts to suicide every day. What really got me was reactions of people who were on the bridge close to the place where boy stayed. They were angry. One of drivers were yelling that boy should be pushed down because he was more than hour late. Some of them were yelling at him, "Jump, jump" and a lot of them were using cameras of their mobile phones to make a photos, even though a police tried to prevent them of coming too close. The biggest lack of compassion was presented by a woman who took her two kids out of a car and took a photo of them with a boy in the background :bomb: Stupid bitch….
People are changed in last 20 years. While a lot of them would feel pity for a celebrity ranting in a TV show about her silicone breast implants turned wrong, on the other side they would make jokes about psychiatric case trying to commit public suicide. Where the conscience has gone?
I remember one day, when I was a kid, I think it was in April or May 1975. Both me and my brother were having mumps, spending a beautiful day inside of a house, bored as hell. My mother was preparing a lunch and father was doing something out in the yard, barefoot, in t-shirt and trousers. Suddenly we heard something crashing, strong and loud sound of pressed metal, lasted for maybe a second or two, then silence. My father went out on a street trying to figure what happened, then ran somewhere.
He was back few hours later. There was a train accident in a train station 500m away from our house. Two trains crashed, there were a lot of injured people, few deaths. My father was there helping firemen and policemen to take people out of a crashed trains.
My father is strange and stubborn man. I was never satisfied with him, we quarreled a lot and after my return from army we can`t go along. So I left home and went to live with my grandparents. But on that particular day, I was so proud of him. He was my hero.
***
I know these two events seems to be too different to compare but I wanted to point out one thing: if you can`t be a part of solution, try not to be a part of a problem.

photo: Blic Online

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61 Responses to Compassion

  1. Dacotah says:

    😦 I hope they were able to get the young man to safety. :irked: At hearless people. 😦 When will they learn? *Sighs*

  2. gdare says:

    He is in hospital now. I hope he will not have ideas like that again.

  3. Dacotah says:

    I'm glad to hear he is in the hospital. I hope they can help him. πŸ˜₯ :(I hope he won't have that feeling again too.

  4. Furie says:

    Things have certainly changed in 30 years eh? The more civilised the world becomes the less humane we become. Your father's type of person probably doesn't exist these days. Unable to voice his inner feelings, but showing what he is at his core on that day. These days it's the opposite.

  5. LorenzoCelsi says:

    It is all about what parents teach their kids.

  6. Spaggyj says:

    I hate that about people! They want to capture tragedy to show off to their friends, or to provoke it. Perhaps this is because they want to make an influence on the world and they are too cowardly to help. So they destroy. Because they make that impact and make themselves feel important. The rare people who do help, do it because they just have to. Not for fame or thanks, but because it is instilled into them to help others. Our world is being taken over by selfishness and the rare breed of good person is dying out. As I get older, the world makes me feel more sick.

  7. rose-marie says:

    Wow… I can't believe that photographing woman! And the man who got upset because he was late! Imagine somebody being late to a meeting, excusing themselves with "Yeah, there was this suicide attempt on the bridge, but I yelled at him to jump so I could get here faster." :faint:I can really see why you looked at your dad as a hero that day.

  8. PainterWoman says:

    I couldn't imagine saying to my kids 'go stand over there where the guy's going to kill himself, I want to take your picture'. Pretty cold hearted in my book. :irked: Hopefully, he will get some psyciatric help in the hospital and be able to get over whatever is bothering him.

  9. LorenzoCelsi says:

    I am not concerned. I have got only one doubt, it things are really getting worse or human kind has always been this way. If you think about the history of Europe in the latest 2-3000 years, there is anything and its contrary.

  10. gdare says:

    Carol – he is way too young to end up like that; hope they will help him see the other sides of life :)Mik – many years later I was thinking about some good and smart things my father did in his life, and on the other hand, some bad ones; how is that possible? I guess that day he reacted by his primal instinct, to save a life of a person who needs help.Kimmie – sometimes I think people just want to appear on a TV or to say their friends: "Look, I was there when it happened" :yuck:Lorenzo – if this is example of the psychological state of the nation, we must be really concerned :eyes:Rose – unintentionally, I`ve made this post semi-personal; it wasn`t something I anted but it turned that way; when I think about my father I ask myself what has changed him?Pam – this is cold hearted in anyone`s book; and she has two kids; did she asked herself what would she feel if that was her kid on the other side of the fence and people are yelling "jump, jump" :furious:

  11. gdare says:

    People can`t escape their nature 😦

  12. sanshan says:

    Oh wow, that event mirrors what happened in Vancouver a few months ago. A woman tried to jump from one of our major bridges, and the police shut the bridge totally down. Traffic lined up for a great distance, for over 2 hours! Police were criticized for doing this, and people were acting the exact same way as what you say, telling the woman to jump and taking pictures. Sigh. 😦

  13. ellinidata says:

    my payers go out to all of them! they need help and sometimes the rest of us are too busy to recognize it :(it is always a deeper mental / emotional need, greater than any other….

  14. Spaggyj says:

    Yes, I agree. They want to make their mark.

  15. Zaphira says:

    Huh… people motioned the poor suicider to jump?! :eyes:I don't think that would happen here. Yes, people would probably be taking photos and stopping to stare at the incident, but yelling at him is plain idiotic. Sorry, but it is.As for your dad – well – we are all humans, even parents. We all do both good and bad things in our lives. The trick is to focus on the positive things. :up:

  16. Marike79 says:

    That is just terrible! Here I know this doctor and his wife she is a nurse, anyway the were driving past a gruesome car crash with people bodyparts everwhere and they didn't stop to help, she told me "they were probably all dead" but how does she know! I was so disgusted with the story, they could have saved a life… 😦

  17. Javaen says:

    I got all the way down to the last comment with something in mind to say….Then Zaph said it all. God is she a smart/psychic kitty! πŸ˜† Dare, it can be very befuddling to have mixed emotions about someone you are related to so closely. I've been there. Seeing the good doesn't erase the bad, but it can make you feel like you may have a fighting chance at appreciating the things you have in common without feeling dark about it.

  18. ricewood says:

    Now I am wondering if this is something new – the thing with people behaving out of order when someone is threatening to kill himself.I've heard about such behavior several times – never experienced it myself, though.

  19. Spaggyj says:

    We get a lot of, "jump, jump, jump" here too.

  20. gdare says:

    San – so this is probably happening all over the world…Angeliki – I always think what would I do if this is someone I know.. or someone I am close to; but I am sure I would not encourage him to jump in any occasion; I like to think I was a good man…. and I want it to be in the future;Kimmie – such people make me :yuck:Zaphira – you don`t have to feel sorry at all; they are idiots; it is their shame;Marike – :doh: I am shaking head in disbelief; they were too busy to stop?Java – she is smart, indeed :)as for my father… you are right and I am really trying to put bad things by side; it is not always easy;Allan – I have remembered, last year one man threaten to kill himself by jumping from a bridge too; there was a girl walking over there, she came close and talk him out of that idea; she told to newspapers later that the man is ok now, and she met him few months after this happened; I wish there are more people like she is;

  21. Javaen says:

    Donno if it will help, but as a lover of language, I try to differentiate the similarities. One day I took a simple personality test, and the results made me. Panic!!! I was just like my dad! Then I had years to think through that deeper. My dad was cunning, manipulative…. I am observant and use persuasiveness for good. My dad was charismatic in order to lull a others into a false sense of security, so they would take him at his word….and never look deeper. I am charismatic, but don't convince people of my attributes, and shrug off worry if they want to check on my actions. I have nothing to fear. I'd rather inspire than act. He was highly intelligent. All the easier to not get caught. I am pretty smart. I like to find solutions for people. And a million other examples. It's normal to see similarities, but also important to recognize how you have implemented those traits into your life. And if what I've known of you is any indication…. Well, shoot, you know I think yer a hell of a guy! Donno if that helps.

  22. ellinidata says:

    I do like the title of the post "compassion" and that tells all … :heart:

  23. edwardpiercy says:

    I am glad that things turned out like they did for the man and that no harm came to him. We had a similar situation here last year which didn't turn out nearly as well. :(Truth and compassion are intertwined. And it is difficult to have compassion when a person's world view doesn't see the world as it really is — outside past their own nose.

  24. AnitaMargita says:

    The title "Compassion" really tells all. I mean, i'm very sorry for the guy who tried to commit suicide, but i'm far more worried about who people became. They stick their nose everywhere. They "have solved all their problems" and have time to solve others… For the guy there is more chance to get better, but for such people i'm not so sure… 😦

  25. Dacotah says:

    I hope so too Darko.

  26. studio41 says:

    you are compassionate, glad the boy was talked down.

  27. gdare says:

    Java – I have seen similarities and differencies between my father and me; I am glad to say that I don`t have most of his habits but we have one thing in common: stubborness; we both think that we know better than the others :PAngeliki – I was thinking about what title to put it and this word just came out by itself, this is what all those people lack….Ed – as I mentioned in reply to Sanshan, this is happening all over the world :(Anita – they are not capable of solving their own problems so they express their frustration in a worse possible way :irked:

  28. studio41 says:

    sort of a calling, huh?

  29. gdare says:

    Jill – I am glad too; there are a lot of suicides/suicide attempts from a bridges during the year; I am glad to know that at least half of them has happy ending, even if person jumps into water; river police is close to bridges and can react in a matter of minutes; also, fishermen are a great help, one of them is known to have saved lot of lives πŸ™‚

  30. gdare says:

    Well, they are in position to spot potential problem and make alarm; also some of them has small boats so they can reach suicider almost immediately. Police respect them.

  31. gdare says:

    Sometimes I think that some people use brain just to fill the hole between ears :irked:

  32. wickedlizard says:

    I remember a similar scenario in California back when I was a kid. We were stopped in traffic. Some kid was hanging off the overpass. We didn't have a clue what was going on as we were so far back stuck in traffic, but word eventually came down through all the cars stuck in traffic. We could just about make out the overpass and there was some kind of commotion up there, we could see the sirens flashing, we thought it was some sort of accident. It made the news. They managed to talk the kid back into safety. Watching it on the news later that night, there was a mixture of disgust, empathy, and people who did yell jump jump jump in the faces you saw in the news! It's sad. :awww:

  33. wickedlizard says:

    :sst: I think so too!

  34. SittingFox says:

    Darko, thanks for this post. Few things make me so mad as seeing people treating suicide attempts as a joke. It's about as funny as cancer. People who think otherwise are cold, or ignorant, or both. Thank goodness that guy was rescued, and I hope he does get the support he needs, whatever situation he's come from.

  35. wickedlizard says:

    I agree with sittingfox! Sick emotionless people! :irked:

  36. gdare says:

    Adele – I could understand emotional distance people have toward potential suicider; but yelling at him to jump, making a joke out of whole situation is unacceptable; it could be treated as crime, urging someone to kill himself is like urging to kill someone else; there is no difference to me.Issy – sick, this is correct word…

  37. Cois says:

    Its a shame that people believe only their little world's are important to them.. Not even thinking of how the other person feels..It'll be a whole different thing if the tables were turned

  38. gdare says:

    Somehow, I wished it happened that day… in case of some small earthquake… it would be nice to watch them running from that bridge :devil:

  39. Marike79 says:

    Darko they were on their way to some function, but that doesn't mean he don't have to stop and see if he can't help the people. After all he is a medical doctor and could help save a life… 😑

  40. gdare says:

    On the other hand, he is supposed to be under hippocratic oath to use his skill to help people :furious:

  41. SummerAngel says:

    As the mother of a boy, my heart goes out to his parents. I pray my son never feels life is so hopeless he resorts to thoughts of suicide, but if he should ever reach that point, I hope he would be shown more compassion than this young man was.My father was killed in a boating accident ten years ago, and I miss him every day. Dad and I had a great relationship, but my sister and he seemed to butt heads frequently. My sister took his death extremely hard because of some unresolved issues. I hope you can find common grounds with your father and mend your relationship. I would hate to see anyone go through the pain and regret she has endured.

  42. gdare says:

    Hello, SummerAngel and welcome to my blog.This boy has only a mother and he was already cured in psychiatric hospital. I guess he was in desperate state of mind, maybe without medications that could stabilize him. So, his behaviour could be understood. But these people…. nothing can justify their behaviour :irked:Well, concearning my father, as I said, we have found modus operandi the moment I moved away. This was, so far, the best solution for our relationship.I am sorry to hear about your father, though.

  43. SummerAngel says:

    Hopefully the meds will prevent the desperate feelings that lead him to the point of suicide. And no, there is no justification for the onlookers shelfishness and stupidity in that situation.Best wishes for even better relationship solutions with your father.

  44. Ukwildlife says:

    There was horrible case last year in the UK where a teenage boy stood on high ledge and the bullies/fellow pupils that had proberly pushed him to that point then chanted jump at him – and unfortunately he did 😦

  45. gdare says:

    Neil – teenagers are easier to be manipulated; sometimes they will do most stupid things just to prove that they have guts :doh:SummerAngel – thank you πŸ™‚

  46. SummerAngel says:

    :love:

  47. intothedeep says:

    I hope he does πŸ™‚

  48. gdare says:

    This is very sad story. People and media made him "guilty" for having illness. They don`t see a wood because of a tree.I hope at last he could find his peace in religion.

  49. intothedeep says:

    Some people just suck! It's that simple. That have no heart, no understanding, no compassion. They don't even make an attempt.I have a friend who is manic/depressive and he's also a Catholic priest. He got himself into trouble because of some behavior while having a severe manic episode. He only got the attention he did because he was a priest. The media totally destroyed him. The people hearing and reading about the events took total advantage of it to take out their hostilities they had with religion and/or sexual abuse of minors — which he had nothing to do with! He was a poor man that was in need of medical intervention. He did not and would never hurt a soul.His life was destroyed because of that incident. No one even cares, even now. It totally breaks my heart to pieces.

  50. canadagirl says:

    Oh Mother Serbia, and our wonderful people!I started my English classes this weak and there were two girls,who just couldn't keep their mouths shut, they were disturbing everybody else and imagine my surprise when I heard them speaking Sebian! I was so ashamed!This event has nothing in common with the one you wrote about, but I think you'll see my point.

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