I was sitting in dining room during lunch break in my job. There were only three of us, my two female coleagues came a little bit before me, already prepared their meals, chatting about little everyday things. One of them then took small red notebok, explaining that it was her diary during first year after her elder son was born. The other coleague wanted to hear something about feeding babies in first few months. `Oh my`, I was thinking, `this will be another girly stuff I don`t really need to listen during my lunch break, about kids pooping in diapers, burping after breast feeding and things like that`. I turned my attention to a roof through a window, on the other side, watching some sparrows landing there, watching toward me, then flying away. Only fragments of my coleague`s conversation came through my contemplation, disturbing my inner thoughts. `My oldest son was born in autumn 1998…… he was 3.5 kg….. after first three months I gave him some cauliflower mixed in baby food….` They were talking, laughing on some funny stuff, leaving me on my own.
Then a sudden change in a tone of her voice drew my attention. "My husband and me were sitting by his bed where he calmly slept and promissed each other that we will give our best to provide him everything he needs to have better and brighter future in this terrible country…" Then her voice broke and she stopped reading. I turned to look. She covered her eyes and cried without sound while tears ran down her cheeks. Shaking and trembling from deep, she just looked down at her notebook without producing a single sound. Then wiped her eyes, turning another page, then another one…. The other coleague started to cry as well. With a weak voice she continued "… we are sitting in air raid shelter now, we can hear anti-aircraft guns firing like in a far distance. My son is playing with another kid of his age, he is almost 6 months now and don`t understand a horor we are living in…." Few more pages she started to regain a strength in her voice. "I knew I wanted to have another kid but I have wonderful news. Doctor told me I will have twins. I am happy my son will not be only kid in our small family…."
She is a person who complain here and there about hard life she and her husband are having. Raising three kids in Serbia is not an easy task, her husband is taxi driver and I know sometimes they have difficulties in connecting time between salaries. I know their kids don`t have everything they need for happy childhood.
Then I turned my attention through a window again. It was one of those times when moments of happiness and sadness mix, making emotions almost tangible in the air. Some sparrows were sitting on a roof top across watching me with their small black eyes. Then, in a blink of an eye, they were gone.

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38 Responses to Motherhood

  1. Marike79 says:

    wow just like Kimmie said… what a very emotional and powerful post!! we forget that sometimes our problems and needs are far less than others.

  2. gdare says:

    Nik – thank you; sometimes I ask myself am I blessed or cursed to see and know things like that; but for sure they make me think….

  3. ellinidata says:

    an amazing post Darko,a reader does not have to be a mother/father to be touched.We all have/had mothers and your post is a reminder of the hardtimes parents live to give us the best they can…a very small exceptions exist of parents that are not meant to be parents.Difficult times are everywhere and parents do the best they canin Serbia with the war,in the small greek villages with poverty,in my case loosing a husband with two babies of 2years old and an 8month old in a foreign country with no family… Single parents, poor parentswe all change when we become parents.It is motherhood or fatherhood that brings out the best out of a human,when your existance is not yoursany longer.Giving birth to life is a fascinating thingadopting and giving a chance to another humanit is an amazing thingover coming hard times and provide security to you family it's a great thing,loving a nice/nephew and supporting their more comfortable life it is a great thing…working all together to give a better tomorrow to the kidsof the World it is a kind of parenhood too and it isan amazing thing!Thank you for this wonderful post :heart:

  4. Spaggyj says:

    Wow. You know, you post so much stuff that moves me… And I feel like anything I write will not do your words any amount of justice.

  5. gdare says:

    Kimmie – thank you; I have seen a lot in my life, both good and bad, but moments like that moves me too;Mik – this has happened last wednesday; thank you :)Angeliki – moments in days of simple people are example how life is imperfect; we try to give best but events turn us on a completely different path, like Mik said;Lorenzo – I think most of the Europe is having lower birth rate; I don`t know what are the reasons there, here some people try to be fair toward their own children, they think: I can eat junk food once a day, but my kid must have three decent meals; then they decide not to have kids for a long time; sometimes forever…Zaphira – luckily things are not the same as they were during `90s; we had monetary inflation like Zimbabwe is having now; things are changing but very slowly;Marike – thank you; for a moment I thought not to post it, I think my coleague wouldn`t like to see it on line, even though I didn`t mention any names; then I decided to put it as "friends only";

  6. Furie says:

    Beautifully written. A real event?Too often the harsh realities of the world we live in change the gentlest and best intentioned plans.

  7. LorenzoCelsi says:

    Some things about human kind are really difficult to explain. Like when there was the first world war and everybody was so impressed by the massacre that they promised it would had been the last war ever and then right after 20 years there was another. Anyway life is being difficult also here, in fact Italy has got one of the lower birth rate of the world.

  8. Zaphira says:

    I really admire the people who choose to raise children in a country like yours, Darko (No offence, but you know that!). They know that children are the only way your country can possibly survive the crisis.I feel like Kimmie. I don't know what else to write.

  9. nopanic says:

    Powerful stuff and well written Darko. Life observers are important too 🙂

  10. nopanic says:

    The truth is that all observers are both. That´s why I never became a foreign correspondent. I travelled a lot but, couldn´t describe the same miseries, no matter what gettoes I travelled through, the same problems kept and keeps repeating themselves, over and over again. The complexity of the human mind and soul still puzzles me 😦

  11. PainterWoman says:

    Great and moving post Darko. Sometimes, when I think of my mom and what an unhappy childhood she had it makes me sad. But I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't follow in her footsteps and be sad about everything. She had no outlet to get rid of her sadness. I have my painting and writing to get rid of it. It's only now, when I look back, that I see her sadness and also remember a few of the things she said. Growing up, I never saw it, or it never occurred to me and, as a kid, things said in seriousness don't register. As a kid you don't understand these things.

  12. gdare says:

    Pam and Nik – Last year my grandma were talking to me how hard life grandpa and she had during the Second World War and after, when they got married, raising two kids, in poverty. She told me: "This what I have now is the best I have ever had in my life." And she told me that after having her hip broken and replaced surgically. Spending days in bed, unable to walk.I will never forget that.

  13. nopanic says:

    Many old ppl has the ability to contain life in its full. With ALL aspects :happy: Want to follow that path meself :up:

  14. edwardpiercy says:

    "She covered her eyes and cried without sound while tears ran down her cheeks. Shaking and trembling from deep, she just looked down at her notebook without producing a single sound. Then wiped her eyes, turning another page, then another one."Sleep deprivation. Obviously. :pParenthood is a very deep instinct which helps to propogate the species. Parents make a lot of sacrifices.And then there's love, of course. I wouldn't want to forget that one. But let me ask this: Why is it that parents love thier child, who is brand new in their lives and who they really don't know from Adam? So it goes back to instinct. At least at first.

  15. SittingFox says:

    Thanks for another poignant and thought-provoking post :up:

  16. gdare says:

    Adele – thank you :)Ed – one of my friends gave his kidney to his son 5 years ago; as you said, very devoted and deep instinct;

  17. Dacotah says:

    Good post Darko.

  18. thaodp says:

    A touching post Darko. You made me think of my parents and my childhood. Thank you.

  19. SqueakeyCat says:

    very good post.

  20. sanshan says:

    Thanks for sharing this.

  21. gdare says:

    Carol, KIm, Mit and Sanshan, thank you for reading it 🙂

  22. ricewood says:

    I think it was a good thing you did put this up. You know, there are so many things happening in the world. One event follows the other. One war follows the other.The general public may be led to believe that a war which took place 10 years ago is over and done with.It's certainly not, as your excellent everyday observation shows. A war lives on in families and in nations for generations. The souls will carry war-scars around all of their lives.

  23. gdare says:

    Thank you Allan. You are right, we who experienced it one way or another will have it in our minds for a long time. Forever. A goal is to put it where it belongs, in memory, and continue with our lives. There is always a "better tomorrow" :yes:

  24. Cois says:

    I got nothing to add that hasn't been said 🙂

  25. rose-marie says:

    This is so beautiful, yet so sad, Darko. You convey the feelings in a way that makes me, who hasn't experienced anything similar, somewhat understand anyway. Thank you for sharing this.

  26. gdare says:

    Carol – :)Cois – ok, thanks anyway :)Rose – you are welcome; we just live in different surroundings, feelings are the same; everywhere 🙂

  27. wickedlizard says:

    That was an amazing post! Thanks for sharing that! :heart:

  28. gdare says:

    Thanks Issy :happy:

  29. gdare says:

    Thank you Graham. For instance, every time I see someone in wheelchair passing by me, I remember how happy I am. I don`t want to judge, everyone of us tries to make our lives happier upon circumstances we are at, but I know some people would be much happier without problems they have. Even though the rest of us think these are small everyday things. Like walking, for instance.

  30. Words says:

    A great post. It's good sometimes to stop and think about such things, about the incredible spirit to create new futures. Thank you!

  31. gdare says:

    Thank you Words. Sometimes I think I see those things too much in my life.

  32. canadagirl says:

    Hi, Darko your post reminds me on one of the worst periods of my life.I was pregnant at that time ( you wrote about) and deeply worried for my unborn baby. For her life, future…I'm trying not to think about those days.

  33. gdare says:

    I am glad they are over for you now 🙂 I hope you and your family have good life in Canada 🙂

  34. H82typ says:

    Darko, most of us Americans who have never been out of the country cannot comprehend the enormous uncertainty of being at war with a neigboring country. (Imagine us at war with Mexico or Canada!) Yes we've had civil unrest, and a couple of days that will 'live in infamy', other than that no one has dared to attack us on our own turf. My heart goes out to those ladies,you, and yours. For lack of anything better, I'll add all y'all to my prayers.  Peace.

  35. gdare says:

    Dennis, thank you. Years of uncertainty lasted more than some of us predicted at the beginning of 90s. It started with a civil war in Slovenia and ended with NATO air campaign during 1999. A lot of people suffered in all sides. At the bottom line, our lives hasn`t changed to better.

  36. H82typ says:

     There are no true winners in war. Any war. (I'm not trying to sound flip, here,either.)

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