Friend

When I was a kid, my brother and me spent almost every summer in a small village in Croatia, where my grandmother and uncle lived, a place where my mother was born. This is a peaceful place, between hills and mountains of Gorski kotar, near Rijeka, a harbour in Adriatic sea. At the beginning, we had only a few friends there, neighbouring kids with whom we played. But, later, during `80s, we started to hang around with other young people from village and also from Zagreb and Rijeka, kids whose parents were born there too. I remember a day when I have met one of them, who will became one of my best friends I have ever had. It was in 1985, beginning of July, previous night there was a big storm with thunder and a house of one of my acquaitances were set on fire (even though I am not sure if this was because of a thunder though, my memory fails now on this detail :sad:). He was there to help and my brother and me were observing what is happening and listened to a stories. Our mutual friend from Zagreb introduced us and, later, we all went to have some beer and to talk about. He was interesting person, full of ideas for fun and ready for action, whenever. I felt we will be a very good friends.
It proved to be a truth in a years that came later. We were a part of a large group of people and had a great fun, went to mountain climbing and hiking, attended some wild parties, have had some fight with other groups from other villages, went to sea or a nearby lake to swim…. It was, so far, the best part of my life. We were young and wild and happy, and my friend was a kind of a leader of a group. We talked a lot about everything that draw our attention back then.
After my return from army, in december 1989, things have started to change. There were rumours about separation of some republics of former Yugoslavia. But that winter and during celebration of New Year everything was just unimportant, we all felt that great life is awaiting for us, we just need to rech it….
Then it came a war. Last time I have seen him was during my short stay in Croatia in May of 1991. We sat in a pub, there was another friend from Istria and we were commenting about what is going on. We agreed it is not good but made a plans for a next summer. Two months later it became serious.
In the June 1993. I have managed to make a phone call to my uncle, the lines were broken but I have found some kind of connection over phone operator from Bosnia (:faint:). He was hesitating but at last he told me my friend has died in an military action. I was speachless, didn`t know what to say. In a hours after that I was looking at photographs, remembering the good time we spent together. Yes, we were on the opposite sides in that war but I could never think of him as an enemy. We were not enemies, others had put us in that roles.
Five years later, after the war was over, I went in that village again to meet my family and some of the friends that remained there and remained a true friends after all that happened. I went to see his parents and I cannot describe now how emotional that was. Later I went to graveyard to put some flowers and lit a candle…
These days are anniversary of his death. I don`t remember the exact date, it was close to my birthday but my mind refuses to memorize it. Somehow I will never accept it….

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42 Responses to Friend

  1. LorenzoCelsi says:

    I would like to know much more about Yugoslavia and what happened then. I traveled there for some days but I could not meet people. Now I just have some distant memories of dark forests, roads to nowhere and villages without any shop in sight (man, I was starving and I did not know where to buy food). I remember also changing some money for local dinars, something like a whole bag of it. It was around the end of the '80s… there was still the cold war.Anyway, no matter how many books are written, war does not make any sense. It is just crazy.

  2. Spaggyj says:

    😦 such a sad tale…

  3. Cois says:

    Kim coined it yeah..

  4. rolling_thunder says:

    I think everyone has lost someone in tha war… My mother has some similar stories.I'm so glad I was a child at that time.

  5. ellinidata says:

    Darko,I am sorry about your friend,try to celebrate his life ,remember the happy moments ,that's the biggest respect you can give to his memory :heart:for all the great friends we've lost ,the ones that always live in our hearts,

  6. rose-marie says:

    That's really sad :(.I sometimes wonder what happened to the people I met in ex-Yugo… I have no idea if they are alive or dead.

  7. gdare says:

    Everyone, thank you for your comments. I thought if I should put it in post but then I have seen a short article in one croatian newspapers website, about my friend and some other young man that died at the same time. I just wanted to share with you this part of my life.Sometimes it feels like it was in a previous life, in life I doubt it ever existed…

  8. gdare says:

    Yes, we all have our sorts of reality, so much different…

  9. martinouellette says:

    Sorry to hear this story Darko. :(I remember the war there, I was at high school then. People live different things at different moments.

  10. LorenzoCelsi says:

    That is a slippery downhill Darko 🙂

  11. MizzMartinez says:

    I'm so sorry Darko…sorry for the death of your friend, sorry for the war. But I really hope that you'll never forget the good stories that you created together. :):hugs:

  12. gdare says:

    Mizz, I can still hear a sound of his voice and time we spent together will remain in my memory as long as I exist.

  13. MizzMartinez says:

    Awww…it will! :awww: 🙂

  14. attilasoul says:

    This is truly a sad story, but I am happy that you save the good memories about him. I also think it is an important fact that you state that even though you were both in the army on the different sides, he could never have been your enemy.War is … war is not good for anything!All honour to your friends memory!

  15. gdare says:

    Tilla, thanks for your kind words :heart:

  16. Capegirl says:

    i am sorry you have lost someone you loved. it is not everyday we find a really, true friend. there are some things the mind cannot accommodate too well and it may always struggle with the pain of a loss like this or a thing that makes no sense- coming up at times to fill the heart with memories.hugs Darks. :heart:

  17. gdare says:

    Thank you Michelle :heart:

  18. Vecana says:

    What a sad story… you make me almost cry… As we getting older, we all have more and more sad stories in our memory, and only the few good ones and those are the ones that we must never forget.And I'm sure that you have couple of good friends around you now. 🙂

  19. gdare says:

    Thanks Vesna. And, yes, I do have 🙂

  20. yomeriux says:

    arff Darkito, Im so sorry…:awww:

  21. yomeriux says:

    :heart:

  22. yomeriux says:

    yes, there is not much we can do about it. :worried:

  23. gdare says:

    Thank you Marina. Bad things just happens sometimes…

  24. nopanic says:

    God bless his soul and you too Darko.

  25. gdare says:

    Thanks Nic. God bless you, too.

  26. volkuro says:

    What a story Darko. Where I live, war is only a thing we see on the news and I remember when that war began that it seemed so strange to me because Yugoslavia was for me the same type of peaceful country as Canada and I couldn't believe that there was a war there.But it happened and sadly there must be a lot of other stories like yours.. :(Take care man.

  27. gdare says:

    It was unbelievable to me too, but it seems that darkest memories from our history were brought to surface. Pandora`s box was opened and couldn`t be closed easilly.This is just one of not so scary stories. But for me, sad and hard enough enough to remember it as long as I live.

  28. Cois says:

    Is it fortunate to remember someone that way or unfortunate to never being able to forget?

  29. gdare says:

    I have asked myself a similar question a lot of times. Are we (from former Yugoslavia) blessed because we know how life really bad can be and therefore being able to know ourselves in good and bad times, or we are cursed for knowing the worse possible way life can have? Are we cursed or blessed for being able to recognize all sides of human behaviour? Are we cursed or blessed for being born and living here?

  30. LorenzoCelsi says:

    Here there is a saying "chi è causa del suo mal pianga se stesso" that translates in "who is the reason of his own disgrace should cry on himself". The meaning roughly is that shit happens in life but most problems come from people making wrong decisions and moves.

  31. gdare says:

    Lorenzo, we have a similar one, meaning the same, but hard to be translated.

  32. nopanic says:

    Good people keep coming back into our minds. Over and over again. Even if they´re not here anymore. Their presence inside us feels almost stronger than when they were walking around here

  33. gdare says:

    Thank you for your kind words Nic.

  34. nopanic says:

    I only wanted to tell you, because I´ve been there. The ones we loved keep coming back somehow. I´ve felt this from time to time 🙂

  35. nopanic says:

    Yes, sometimes memories have a life of their own. And yes we meet them in good and bad moods, but they are there; the images, the scent, the feelings…

  36. gdare says:

    And even though it brings a sad memories sometimes, it brings akind of happiness because we were lucky to meet them, right? 🙂

  37. gdare says:

    *nods*

  38. yomeriux says:

    indeed 🙂

  39. Furie says:

    That's a powerful post, and I'm sorry I missed it the first time around.

  40. gdare says:

    Thanks. I made it open to public and will definitely move it to WP when I move the rest of my stuff from here. I am cleaning it now, deciding which ones are worth saving and which ones are going to garbage 😉

  41. derWandersmann says:

    You have my sympathies, my friend, and my sincere wish that you make your sadness a positive thing, for only in this way can we defeat the dark.And I have a toehold in the new place:http://derwandersmann.wordpress.com/

  42. gdare says:

    Thank you dW. It's been 20 years since he died. Sometimes I think what his life would be like if he survived…Bookmarked and following 😀

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